A new weapon with which to rein victory down from the heavens

Greetings Team Seagal Fans, Casey Ryback here. Behold, the new steed, I just finished the build today. This is the most baller shit EVAH!!!!!1111oneoneeleven!11

Here's the *basic* breakdown:

frame: 20" Kula 2-9 (weighs in at 4 lbs flat)
fork: Pace RC29 carbon
brakes: Avid Juicy 7s (180 front, 160 rear)
seatpost: LP carbon
handlebar: Ritchey WCS Carbon Rizer
saddle: Fizik Gobi
headset: Chris King
cranks/bb: XT (octalink, not 2-piece)
rims: Salsa Delgado (disc front, cross rear)
hubs: XT disc front, Surly singlespeed rear
pedals: Shimano 959
tires: Panaracer Rampage front, Motoraptor rear
chain: oh yes, it's gold.

I expect to get some actual "travel" with my front end: that flexy carbon fork and a 2.35" tire! In case you were wondering, the Rampage tread pattern looks nearly IDENTICAL to the Kenda Nevegal. The only difference will be the width. Also, pay special attention to my front valve cap. You get extra points if you can correctly identify it. Of course, this paltry frame doesn't hold much of a candle to Gino Felino's recently completed Lynskey... guh...

Is it a good idea to shakedown a bike at Council Bluffs? We will find out.

MORE BREAKING NEWS!!!

THIS JUST IN! Jerseys are here! Logos are crisp, specifically the likeness of Steven Seagal. There will be no mistaking us for any other chumps on the race course with these fine threads! Be prepared to shit your pants when you see these things. See Mason Storm to exchange $$$ for goods.

Below is a picture taken when the delivery man jokingly threatened not to hand over the box of jerseys. Doesn't look like he'll be making any more jokes around us.




Stay tuned for a team picture with all of us dressed in full Seagal Kit.

Greetings From The Interior

Well I am back from Alaska and I am pretty excited about getting back on the bike. I learned a lot about what to do when you have 20+ hrs of day light....Fish, Drink, and then Drink some more. I survived the past 5 days of of a mere 3hrs a day sleep and at least 12 beers and a bottle of tequila(DAILY). We ended up with about 350lbs of fish to split between 7, so if you want some Halibut, Cod, or King Salmon come on by. Fixed century one week from this Saturday.
Late,
M. Storm

BREAKING NEWS

This just in: in an interview with Conan O'brien, Jim Cramer of CNBC's TV Show "Mad Money" professes Steven Seagal to be his hero. He went on to reference Seagal's classic film "Hard To Kill" in which Seagal famously proclaimed that he would kill his enemies because he (and his partner) have "superior attitude, and superior state of mind." Cramer then mentioned that he has adopted this as a life philosophy. More to come as we attempt to join forces with Jim Cramer.

Training = good, because Under Siege 2 took place on a train

This Friday, a number of Team Seagal soldiers will be engaging in glorious battle with the trail known only as "Council Bluff." The slaughter of fat cells will be plentiful, and the replenishment of them will be swift thanks to lots of post-ride PBRs. One lap? That's for PU-SSIES. We're talking 2, maybe 3. Hell, some of us have been contemplating suicide lately, and we may go through with it by using the old "4 laps of Council Bluffs" technique. Think you're man/jackass enough to join? Be there or be L7.

On another more "order of business" note, the only three of us have actual official names. The rest of you guys need to get a name. Here is a list of his characters along with their respective movies, that haven't been taken yet:

Prince of Pistols (2008) (in production) .... John Prince
Marker (2008) (post-production) .... Matt
Once Upon a Time in the Hood (2007) (post-production) .... Simon
Flight of Fury (2007) (V) .... John Sands
Attack Force (2006) (V) .... Marshall Lawson
Shadow Man (2006) (V) .... Jack Foster
Mercenary for Justice (2006) (V) .... John Seeger
Black Dawn (2005) (V) .... Jonathan Cold
Today You Die (2005) (V) .... Harlan Banks
Submerged (2005) (V) .... Chris Cody
Into the Sun (2005) .... Travis Hunter
Out of Reach (2004) (V) .... William Lansing
Clementine (2004) .... Jack Miller
Belly of the Beast (2003) (V) .... Jake Hopper
Out for a Kill (2003) (V) .... Prof. Robert Burns
The Foreigner (2003) .... Jonathan Cold
Half Past Dead (2002) .... Sasha Petrosevitch
Ticker (2001) .... Frank Glass
Exit Wounds (2001) .... Orin Boyd
The Patriot (1998/I) .... Dr. Wesley McClaren
Fire Down Below (1997) .... Jack Taggart
The Glimmer Man (1996) .... Lt. Jack Cole
Executive Decision (1996) .... Lt. Colonel Austin Travis
On Deadly Ground (1994) .... Forrest Taft
Marked for Death (1990) .... John Hatcher
Above the Law (1988) .... Nico Toscani

I particularly like Nico Toscani, Marshall Lawson (which includes the phrase "marshall law") and Sasha Petrosevitch.



Thanks to DRJ for hosting a badass group ride and thanks to Chris Ploch for making the painfest a little more enjoyable @ the ranch.

Just a little quickie...

Greetings Team Seagal Fans. I just thought I'd share the little modification that I've made to my cycling backpack. That pesky Trek logo had to go, and what better way to do that than to cover it up with a PBR patch? I don't ride Trek, but I DO drink PBR. And every person that I pass on my way to work now will know that.


In other news, we should all wish Mason Storm a safe trip as he ventures up to into Alaska for work. Hopefully there is still some Alaska left for him to see, ever since the movie On Deadly Ground, in which Forrest Taft (Steven Seagal) pretty much vaporized everything and snapped the bones of everyone.

Mohican, Indian for Pain

Gino here. Well I've had some time to recover from the Mohican 100 on saturday. The good news: I was 4 slots behind Tinker.

The bad news: that was on the DNF list. This was one tough course, one tough race. It was always up or down, no time to rest and a fair amount of the singletrack was pretty technical and wet. Of the first 50 miles at least 40 of it was singletrack or maybe some old rough doubletrack. I got no where near enough rest or sleep the week leading up to it and felt weak from the get go. Let this be a lesson to you kids out there: whenever undertaking a massive feat whether it be a 100 mile mtb race or splintering the arms of a hundred foes into a million pieces alway make sure you get plenty of rest, no chinese herbs can fix that.
Anyway I called it quits at the 3rd checkpoint which was like at 50 miles or so. I just wasn't focusing right and felt really tired, almost sleepy. So I rode the 100k route back to camp only to encounter this a couple of miles from the finish

I could have thrown the race director threw a wall at the finish line if I had found him. The mind games he played letting you think you could almost rest, but then UP! UP! UP! That lighter strip to the left is a view of some of the path we had to walk up to continue.
For the professional write up go here
I'm pretty sure I'll be back next year and Team Seagal will dominate.

Matson, Matsoff (get it?)

Every time I see the phrase "Team Seagal" in print or displayed in rankings, I get a smile on my face. Then several fists come out of that smile. Our domination is as follows:

Men - 1x1
(not ranked)

Place Name Time Team
1 Andy Gibbs 00:57:04 Cyclery
2 Jim Krewet 00:58:12 DRJ Racing
3 Jeremy Bradshaw 01:00:45 Gateway
4 Edd Klein 01:02:29 Team Seagal
5 Bryan Adams 01:05:20 GORC / Dogfish
6 Chris Locke 01:09:03 Cow Town
7 Mike Hanna 01:14:36 Team Seagal
DNF Barry Blumenkemper Sunset



It takes no longer than 1 hour and 15 minutes for us to deal out lots of death. Prepare.

Cancer of the innertube

Greetings to you, the Team Seagal fan. Whilst on a super-badass trifecta about a month ago, myself, Mason Storm, and Eddie (who has yet to decide on a REAL name) came around a turn at Matson Hill. There was also a little branch across the trail. I made it fine, Mason made it fine, but Eddie's luck wasn't quite as good. As you can see, while rounding the turn, Eddie's inner tube suddenly developed an "inflated" ego, and tried to free itself from the confines of his tire. The eruption of laughs could only be described as a lolcano.





It's too bad, because the rest of the ride was money. Well, that is, except for the 45 minutes of torrential rain and thunderstorms. But the part when we were killing all those Jamaican drug dealers? Money! More images: