1) From which Seagal movie did this short monologue come: (And for bonus points, include which former drill-instructor delivered the line?)
"My guy in DC tells me we are not dealing with a student here. We're dealing with a professor. Any time the military has an operation that can't fail they call this guy in to train the troops, okay? He's the kind of guy that would drink a gallon of gasoline so he could piss in your campfire. You could drop this guy off at the Arctic Circle wearing a pair of bikini underwear without his toothbrush and tomorrow afternoon he's gonna show up at your poolside with a million dollar smile and a fistful of pesos. This guy's a professional, you got me?"
A. Under Siege
B. On Deadly Ground
C. Fire Down Below
D. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
2) Reading assignment - READ THIS BOOK:
Seagalogy By "Vern"
As of this writing this, I'm on chapter 6, and it might the best book I've ever read. Says New York Magazine: "We can't believe this actually exists, but the world is certainly a better place for it!" I think that this should be the Official Team Seagal Handbook. Systematic and ironically hilarious overview of each of Seagal's movies, plus a liberal use of both footnotes and the word "fuck" make for a must-read. This book gets a 10-out-of-10 Snapped Wrists rating. In fact, I plan on attempting to get this "Vern" guy to join our team on an honorary basis. Interesting note: Amazon has the new versions cheaper than the used ones. Buy this book, or be forever floating in a vast sea of direction-less confusion
Merry Christmas.
-C.F. Ryback
