Only 2 weeks remain until the magnificence that is MFXC 5 will be upon us. Or should I say MFXC 5.1 and MFXC 5.2? That's right loyal readers (Who still really reads this blog anyway? I mean if it's not on teh facebooks it didn't really happen, right?), this years MFXC consists of 2 stages:
MFXC 5.1, The Karkness
When: Saturday August 9, 2014 9:00PM
Where: Suttons Bluff Campground
What: 20ish miles of nighttime goodness on the Karkaghne section of the OT
MFXC 5.2, The Karkness of Day
When: Sunday August 10, 2014 11:00AM
Where: Suttons Bluff Campground
What: 35ish miles of goodness on the Karkaghne section of the OT
MOAR INFO
Being the jerks that we are at Team Seagal HQ, we have procured the Group Campsite at Suttons Bluff for both Friday and Saturday night. It has room for 32, and can take up to 8 cars. $3 per person to camp there should offset the costs. You might have to pay the forest service something for parking your car depending on how all of that goes. You can also probably grab your own site if you need the privacy or are feeling too euphoric while at the group site.
The campground has water, toilets (flushing ones; sorry Coach, no giant jenkem factories), and even showers. Yes, showers; so there is no need to go Tom Petty style this weekend.
You can enter one or both non-races, but for a chance to be the big winner you have to Nibali it and crush all of the stages. You can't just Froome it and quit after 1.* MFXC 5 champion will be crowned based on placings during both non-races. You must enter both races to be eligible. Bonus points might be awarded for numbers of beers consumed between the start of MFXC 5.1 and the end of MFXC 5.2.
Don't forget that you need to be fully self-sufficient during these non-races. We do plan to put water at one spot on Sunday's longer course though. If the weather forecasts to be extremely hot on Sunday, we might move the start time to earlier. The listed times are start times. Be there earlier to check-in and such. We will mark each course with paint and tape, and will have some basic maps available for those that tend to get lost.
In the meantime : GTMV'd! And don't forget to spread the word!
*mandatory end of July lame TdF reference
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28 comments:
HA! Epic dust bath Brah!
I read this blog often and the odd jenkem related blog here and there. Constantly turds rolling in the pants, don't know if it's the blogs or the jenkem.
This will be an epic non-race. Love it.
Doctor
I read this stellar blog every morning and immediately have to summit Mt Kohler and unload all of the shit I have ingested by reading said verbiage
oh shit who's that? uhn tss uhn tss uhn tss uhn tss uhn tss uhn tss
uhn tss uhn tss write up write up
What happened damnit!! Still hungover?
Yeah, what Dr. said!!
Losing the snap.
Losing the snap.
Blog fade, it's a bummer. Where's the crew at?
RIP Seagal blog
If I relied on these posts to stir my colon into action I would be a solid block of shit by now (not that I have been any better with my blog)
I a vain attempt to summit Mt Kohler and release the avalanche of colon cakes I have had to turn to multiple large cups of Starbucks Dark since our esteemed author has apparently snapped both wrists in an attempt to do the Council Bluff double wipe.
Casey please save my bloated bowels and allow me to release a mudslide that will rival those in California
It's christmas party season and I have been hungover everyday for the last week. It is difficult to write through the fog of drugs and alcohol, but I am attempting it anyway because the interwebs needs to know about the string of amazing shits I have taken today. 3 all with in about 5 minutes of each other, 2 pre coffee even. The weird thing is that all 3 were totally identical. I wish had taken pics, never taken the same shit 3 times before. My head hurts so it must be time to do some more drugs
Doc.
Greetings DoctOr and C-Dubs. It was with great pleasure that I learned from the Doctor over our dinner in Prescott this very evening that the comments section of the Blorg is being put to good use. I'm thrilled to report that my eldest son excused himself to deposit Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo whilst perched atop Mt. Kohler at Prescott Brewing tonight. Mr. Hankey closely resembled a brown, lumpy can of Red Bull in both length and girth. Impressive for such a young man. I think he has a bright future in the manufacture of some fine jenkem. I, on the other hand, after spending roughly 9 hours sitting behind the wheel over the last two days, am without a successful shit over these two days. However, stay tuned, for Prescott Brewing provided me with a fine meal of chicken pot pie, so good things are bound to happen tomorrow morning, especially following a couple cups of Joe. Praise Energor the crap diaries are continuing! Doctor, always good to see you and the missus.
Dinner was fantastic. The great thing about Mr Hankey is your son came right back to the table and told me all about it. He has a fine future terrorizing people's comments sections. Safe Journey back.
D to the R
It is truly amazing that youth, and not of the Zambian persuasion, have been brought into the fold and are learning the sacred ways of their elders and the importance that a successful summit of Mt Kohler can have on both the internal well being of the one making it to the summit and on the youth of Zambia that will benefit from fine imported US of A jenkem.
Punchor, watch out for spending so much time in the drivers seat and not atop the great white summit could lead to so painful anal speed bumps that will impact you ability to deliver a crushing load of tube sets for another Jenkem Cycles frame.
Doctor, so proud that you have experienced the triple linty, you will have reached the 5th degree brown belt status when you are able to perform the same feat just prior to rolling out for a long ride. Usually is made better by rolling one while on the summit.
No triple lindy today. I am smoking one right now though, which means I was rolling one earlier. I knew you would be proud of mini punchor. Now you just need to start using Coach as a babysitter and mini punchors education will be complete. He will walk in the way of the japanese businessman. Praise Energor. Now I must go walk my dog Taco, also a jenkem aficionado. I am pretty certain that a game something like chess is happening with the dog turds in the neighborhood. First Taco has to see what moves have been made since yesterday. After careful consideration she will pee in a few strategic places, then a turd will be laid in a very precise location, either as an offensive move, or to block an aggressive turd from one of the neighbors dogs. I am starting to catch on a bit, don't understand it all the way yet.
nothing terribly interesting today, just a single solid log that shot out like a v2 rocket. Given it's initial velocity, I was a bit worried about spelling splashback, but thankfully none occurred. GTF now, ya hear!!!
Perched on the summit
Mt. Kohler is quite chilly
Poo, get out of me
Heading to meet Coach
A post-poo century starts
I'm five pounds lighter
Century begins
Early morning Zambians
Jenkem for breakfast
Like a stinky phoenix rising from the brown-colored ashes of a freshly laid steamer on the chest of some submissive Japanese girl, the comments section once again springs to life! What a glorious thing to find this morning - life in the ole' blorg!
Like Punch0r said, we met up yest0rday for an attempt at a mid-december cent0ry. Prior to leaving my house, I blasted two terrible turds against the sides of Mt. Kohler. I hadn't even reach the summit, because the multiple 7.0% beers the night before ensured that the poo would flow with little control. On two separate occasions before mounting my steed the turds were some of the most foul I had evar produced. Then, it was around maybe mile 60 where I started to worry that I wouldn't make it home without having to find a Mini-Mt. Kohler on which to plant the Team Seagal Flag, but fortunately I made it home without any accidents. I did, however, immediately unleash the fury - once I stepped across the threshold of my house, removing my helmet, I made the quickest summit ever.
Oh man. I am weary just thinking about yesterday's saga. But now, I must focus on the near future, which means checking on the next jenkem harvest. The last month or so here in Missouri has been without much sun at all, so I have had to move jenkem production indoors under artificial light for fermentation. I shall report back once I determine if it is a suitable substitute.
Praise be to Energor, Hallowed be thy... turd.
Punchor, be careful about letting the little guy hang with Coach. If they start talking baseball I can assure you he will try and convince the lad that the best seat is an upper decker
The NECS is feeling the holiday spirit and decided it was once again time to grace these pages with another fine ditty - The 12 Days of Casey Ryback
On the first day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
An upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the second day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the third day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the fourth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the fifth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the sixth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the seventh day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the eighth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
8 Bathtub Marys
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the ninth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
9 Slaps in the Sack from CockPunchor
8 Bathtub Marys
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the tenth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
10 Beers with Scooter
9 Slaps in the Sack from CockPunchor
8 Bathtub Marys
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the eleventh day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
11 Espressos with Nico
10 Beers with Scooter
9 Slaps in the Sack from CockPunchor
8 Bathtub Marys
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
On the twelfth day of Christmas
Casey Ryback sent to me:
12 pack a chillin’
11 Espressos with Nico
10 Beers with Scooter
9 Slaps in the Sack from CockPunchor
8 Bathtub Marys
7 ENOs a swinging
6 pack of PBR
5 Golden showers
4 yellow balloons of Jenkem
3 tacos from Dos Primos
2 scriptures needing translation
and an upperdecker in Mt Kohler’s tankee
C-dOrbs, a most glorious rendition. Well done. As I make my way to the summit this fine morning, priOr to my trip to a beautifully shitty Albany, NY, I will be humming this in my noggin. I am expecting a loose stool this monring, as last night's Cuban dish, Picadillo, is about to launch into it's second life as fine Jenkem production material. Praise Energor.
I thought that I would mention, I took a meeting with FeCycles yesterday to discuss the possibility of a new 29+ frame. I liked the name, FeCycles, as it sort of reminds me of FECES. But, alas, I cannot decide if this is in my future, of if I will be rolling some fine Chinese Ti or perhaps Chinese aluminum. All in all, a good problem to have, yet one that have me perplexed....I must huff the balloon in order to gain enlightenment.
Please get fucked....
Can you punch Cuomo in the sack for me while you are in Albany
Ah, Punch0r, an FeCycles would certainly be the utmost in superior choices. I wholeheartedly endorse this new line of inquiry.
In other news, after ingesting an unhealthy amount of christmas cheer last night at a rather cheerful xmas party that had me arriving home at 3am, I awoke later on to find myself at base camp, staring up at the lofty summit of Mt. Kohler. A rough attempt was launched to put me upon the Energor Step, from which it was only a couple of good "pushes" away from achieving true euphoria.
I can say that having been atop the mount, and looked down upon the brown clouds swirling below, all was right with the world, particularly the part of the world that involves my butthole.
-CFR
It is a raw cold windy day for riding the trails but I have warmed up Mt Kohler with three sessions and with a wicked jenkem buzz going it is time to ride.
Fugg all this poo derbs. Where they pride on tes wride wreports? Splash.
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