Boonen's Secret Energy Drink

The recent 4th of July ride (as chronicled by Marshall Lawson on his blog) brought those that showed up much more than just good mileage. It also brought with it a new and exciting energy drink, sure to energize you. Or cause suspicious nosebleeds.



This drink has had some stigma associated with it. Given that, we must refer to the time-tested equation: controversy + energy drink = me purchasing that energy drink. The apparently litigations brought against the makers of Cocaine Energy Drink have led to this awesome disclaimer:



I personally like that the word "Cocaine" is written in a "white powder" font, ready to be read with your nose. Kinda like a blind coke-addict's braille. The caffeine in this little 8.4 oz can is a whopping 240mg. Pretty concentrated for such a small serving. That's like an entire Monster can. If the caffeine content is surprising, then the taste is a f***ing sucker-punch from Dolph Lungren as Ivan Drago in 'Rocky 4.' This was the first drink that made me wince and then say aloud, "OW!" as it burnt my esophagus and nasal passages going down. No nosebleeds, but I suddenly want more and more and more, and I feel damn near willing to do anything to get one.

That's a lie, it tasted terrible. Maybe I was supposed to consume it like this:


Is there such a thing as energy drink rehab?

-C. Ryback

p.s. I've typed the phrase "energy drink" a shit-ton in this post.