Passage to Sioux Passage

Greetings, Team Seagalistas. Today was a beaut-ee-ful day, and one good epic ride this week (DBH) deserves another, so what better way to spend a gorgeous day than by riding my chubby clydesdale ass up to Sioux Passage County Park and back. Everyone had to be at work for jerks, so it was Mario van Peebles style for the Crotch today. It was, quite a journey.

Starting out down Southwest, looking forward to passing through those tall buildings in the distance:


Approaching the MacArthur Bridge, a massive industrial structure that no one pays any attention to since they closed it to vehicle traffic in 1981:






Moving along the riverfront, I think the old Union Electric building at the MRT trailhead is very ornate and really cool:


Nothing too exciting on the MRT to photograph, except stopping to help a dude who had a flat, and one hand that doesn't work due to a stroke he suffered a while back. His bike was actually pretty trick - two shifters on one side of his carbon Specialized, and his one brake lever actuated both calipers. If Xzibit were there, he'd say "Yo Dawg, We heard you got a busted hand, so we PIMPED YO RIDE so you can SHIFT WITH ONE HAND WHILE YOU RIDE." Unfortunately for him, an old dude wearing a helmet like this one was... ahem... not able to properly finish the task. As I roll up, they were two tubes and one hand down. So I come, droppin' truth bombs left and right, and rode off before the smoke cleared, leaving him with a ready-to-ride bike. BAM.

My 1-Man Man-Train choo-choo'd along, eventually hopping onto Riverview Drive which would wind up past Columbia Bottoms and eventually past the site of a great CX battle last year, Spanish Lake. But not before seeing this guy: He complimented me on my "Superior A-A-A-A-A-A-A-titude." The name on the mailbox said "Angel," which leads me to believe that Criss Angel is devising a new magic trick where he makes sheep virginities disappear.

It was a pretty decent ride through NoCo to get from the MRT to Sioux Passage, but after 45 minutes or so, I could say: Mission: Accomplished
I've never been to Sioux Passage, and I was pleasantly surprised by the undulating terrain, smooth roads, and peaceful surroundings bordering the river. Of course, after last weekend, a hill like this one stood nary a chance:
I reached the edge of the park, otherwise known as the Missouri River, and I found a separate little fishing haven, or an adulterous-liaison haven, depending on how you look at it.
Who died? And how?

Having spent enough time out there, the Ryback Pain Train had to be turned around and headed back for home base. Backtracking through NoCo, I once again found myself overlooking Columbia Bottoms, about to bomb the fuck outta the hill:

At the Riverview/270 intersection, I stopped for some little chocolate donuts, one of which was moldy, and a smoked meat stick, and was on my way. But it wasn't long before I was wanting to check out one of the city limit markers around the city, this one up on Riverview:
Are there others? I know of the one on Manchester in Maplewood...

Not much farther down the road and I had a vision. It had been a long day in the saddle, and one of the chocolate donuts had some mold on it. Perhaps it was the hallucinogenic donut that brought Energor to visit me: He said, "Fear not, Bro-seephus, for you Attitude and State of Mind are both Superior. You shall crush all that oppose you."

I came to farther down the trail, just in time to narrowly miss hitting a bollard. Since the sunlight was waning, I made quick work of the rest of the trail, snaked my way through the city, and reach the home base just in time to see the odometer click over the 70 mile mark:

What's next?

-Casey F. Ryback

P.S. This really was just said on Jersey Shore: "I had sex last night... my vagina's killing me."

2011 Death By Hills - Attrition Through PAIN

Greetings, Team Seagal Loyalistas. Let us mark February 27th, 2011 as the day which found all 50+ riders taking part today losing the weakest parts of our being. Fears, insecurities, intimidations, limits - they were all cast off of our from out bodies much like a monkey craps into his hand, only to fling it at another monkey. Unfortunately, I, Casey Fucking Ryback, much like everyone on our team, have no weak parts. So despite the punishment that was dealt today directly to my leg muscles, I lost only sweat, and my jenkem buzz with which I left the parking lot this morning. Oooo-weeee, talk about a good day. Almost perfect weather, lots of cool broski's with whom to spend the day, and good road conditions lead to a fine time had by all.

There was a report that we had 56 people start out the ride. (It would have been 57, but when Taggort sees "Designing Women marathon" in the TV Guide, there's nothing that will keep him from that TV. Must be something about that Delta Burke.) I fully believe that, because when I looked back as we rolled out, I realized that I was the locomotive in a man-train the likes of which I had never seen. It was at that point that I also was giving thanks to Energor for blessing me with a last minute fuji which I had left perched atop Mt. Kohler during a pit stop on the way over to the ride meeting point - because had I had any left within me, there would have surely been some home-made brown chamois butter magically appearing in my bibs. And it wasn't long after the magic fuji stop that Stormy and I happened to be driving down Claytorn Road approaching our destination when we found a couple of interesting things - Pete Goode choo-chooing his way on his bike, to which we made sure to remind him of his jerk status. We also pulled alongside our own Cockpunchor in his Cock-mobile. Attached to which, was his custom labeled bike. Storm and I had a good laugh at the thought of all other drivers pulling up behind him at stop lights or on the highway, and seeing the name "Cock Puncher" affixed to the bike, and all of them wondering just what the fuck that means:

An epic journey such as the one on which we were embarking required extensive preparation, and proper warming up. Stove and Peat showed the rest of us how to warm your shit up:

Rolling out at a very mild, chilly pace might have seemed a little slow to those towards the back of the pack, but it would surely pay off later. We kept a talking pace down Clayton to the first hill, which would lead us through neighborhood, over hill and dale, down my favorite descent (Woods Road) and quickly turn us up one of the harder climbs of the day, one that would surely wake your legs up - Bartizan. Continuing on, the climbs only got longer, and with the addition of Starwoods, we probably upset a couple of emo dogwalkers. Approaching the base of the main part of Starwoods, I was very amused by the reactions from those around me - "Is that the hill? I don't see where else we can go, so I guess that has to be the hill... Shit! That's the hill!"

One by one, the hills became flattened as we flexed our quads, calves and hamstrings. We continued up Alt past Nelly's house and Hidden Valley, through Eureka, around the "Allenton Loop" where I climbed up the second hill next to Donjo and Larry Koester and found it surreal to hold a conversation with them on that climb, whereas a few years back, I couldn't make it up that hill without stopping.

The first gas station at Allenton Rd/Hwy 44 was a welcome sight, unlike the inbred redneck in his Dodge 2500 Cummin's Diesel who told us how much he didn't like us being on the road. He then sped off with a spew of black diesel exhaust, no doubt upset at being late for the Criss Angel tea-bag orgy try-outs being held just a few miles farther down the highway. The neat thing about one of those is that instead of standing over you, Criss Angel levitates.

Allenton Road was then followed by two hidden gems, Scenic Loop and Woodland Meadow - during which I was believing to be on my own personal vision quest. I found myself slamming Mountain Dew and driving a monster truck, only to be thrown into a lake, at which point I awoke and realized that I was just remembering one of my favorite childhood commercials:

I came to, and found myself effortlessly cruising through Rockwoods Reservation, past my cherished Smokey The Bear, and up Melrose for a mid-climb break at Thrasher's house, at which he and his wife graciously provided bits of delicious cake and water:

Thrasher's wife recently opened the Celebrate Life Bakery, and this is the second year they provided this much-needed stop, and it was UH-MAZING! Thanks a ton! I think those cake flavors should be re-named "The Bubonic Chronic" because that it was it was like.

Peeling away from the cake, we headed out towards the D9 Bulldozer, which sits atop what I think to be the steepest hill of the day, Cremin's Green. It was almost a cheering section waiting at the top as I punched the pavement into submission with each of my swollen quad muscles. This is the only climb on the route that actually has a switchback. While recovering at the top, Mitch had the glorious idea of stopping by the recently "re-discovered" monument just a 1/4th mile off the route. I think we did a good thing by getting a huge group of people perched around one of these monuments, of which there are supposedly many around the city. The sign (closeup) refers to cyclists of the time making that point, the county line, their "mecca". I think we paid homage to that tradition in making that our farthest-most point on the ride. Not that much has changed in these group rides, right?
(next to the Pond/Old Manchester Monument)



There will be more to come regarding these monuments, I assure you.

Continuing on, we found Babler Forest (a climb that some former co-workers of mine refered to as "The Cunt-Punch") to be a climb well worth doing for the 50+mph descent:

A quick loop through Babler Park and up Doberman brought us to the second gas station. This was about the 75 mile mark:


On this ride, Punchor and I discussed how Nokeward, Stove and Peat are not made of human parts, but rather, whatever the T-1000 is made of. How else could they conquer such beasts as we encountered that day, doing so with only one gear? The first photo up above confirms that, because no human would do whatever it is that Nokeward would be doing on the ground there. God, what, a, fucking, JERK.

There was a surprisingly large group left at this point in the ride. Those of us left utitlized our superior attitude and superior state of mind to flatten Orville, Shepard, Clayton, and for Mitch, Stephen, Barry and I, the final obstacle, the Saddle Creek neighborhood, before returning to the sight of our departure. I know that Peat and Mitch both achieved Centuriosity today, though I wonder if anyone else did as well - Mr. Goode?

Finishing this ride in sunlight was simply a feeling that is hard to beat. Kind of like a road ride without the stigma of being a prissy roadie - just a bunch of friends who needed to get the season started in the best possible way - by skipping Froze Toes and challenging yourself at your own pace. Fattest tire award goes to Lawman, narrowly beating out Peat. First place award went to someone whom I probably never saw, because they were crushing everything, and maybe skipping the important parts. Who knows.

In case you didn't know who that guy at the bottom of Bartizan was, that was Thrasher, with a camera. If you look closely at the end, you can see Jerkward and his super-slow cadence:


Here's my Garmin Link! Which shows everything on the provided route except for Dehart Farms, and the Smith School extension.

It was awesome to see everyone Sunday. I don't know about you, but 2011 is starting out to be the best year yet.

-Casey F. Ryback

p.s. I am holding t'aint-salve-application-specialist interviews today.

Oh Yes We Climbed the Hills

Good day. Did you go on a ride today? We did. I hope you were there to receive your death from them hills- NO ONE can hide from the hills. You can expect Coratch to string together some very fancy word groupings to describe the experience very soon. Until then, here is the Garmin Link from the 2011 Death By Mutha Fuckin' Hills ride as recorded from my hybrid. Stay Cool, thanks for stopping by.

-Nico

Found some Remnants from last year's Death By Hills Ride

Spotted less than 1/2 mile from the actual DBH route.



Preparation(h) should be well in play by now. You will not forget this day. Just don't forget where you ghost-rode your bike while your mind is simultaneously melting away and your soul cries for mercy-surely what happened here.

Jenkem before Bartizan for anyone who can identify the exact location of this monument.

-Taggart

DBMFH - It Looms

Greetings, skinny-tire-riding jorks. Climbing can be a wonderful experience, given the proper challenge and setting. That's why it'll be great to kick off the new season with some serious leg-shredding. If you're feeling good up the hill, you might be able to steal a peak at your neighbor, to see how he or she is doing, kinda like Commander Riker here:



I always knew his beard was just for show.

Just remember, avoiding a climb because you don't want to descend it is weak. Think of how much stronger you'll be. Ask yourself the same question that The Ultimate Warrior asks at :40 in this video:

...find the answer to that question, then show up.

Please park across the street from Ralph's place so we don't jam up the lot, and I'll see you there. Bring food and money, with which you can take advantage of the few gas stations along the way, as this isn't supported.

-Casey F. Ryback, Regular Guy

Death By Hills, just over the hill

NOTICE: To all jerks planning on jerkin' it up on the ride, please Park in the lot directly across Clayton Road from Lone Wolf Coffee. This makes things better for everyone! Jerks!

Greetings Team Seagal Soldiers. This winter so far has had more white powder than I did that time I got to meet Tom Boonen at the sex and drugs party. Rest assured, the wintry conditions have not kept the Seagal Pain Train from loosing steam. In fact, we've picked up more fuel to put on this year's fire - a fire that will burn longer than a tire fire, and more intensely than Energor's jet packs.

In order to further stoke the fire, Death By Hills is happening. And by "it's happening," I mean I got someone to work for me that day, so I'm doin' a road ride with whomever else shows up. Like I said last year, if it is below freezing, I probably won't be committing to the full route, because 6+ hours is pretty fucking tricky in that kind of weather. Same goes for if it is snowing/has recently snowed, or is raining.

NEW AND IMPROVED: Last year, Mitch "I Eat Spikey-Metal Krusty-O's For Breakfast Because I Like Pain" Mashor discovered another hill, that is fairly early in the ride, and I think that I, and anyone else who is going, should go up this thing. It's another out and back, and it is called STARWOOD RD. It lies between Old State Road and John's Cabin Rd, on Red Tail Hawk Drive. HERE. It may be one of the steepest hills on the route.

Only a few places to refuel, so come prepared:
-gas station at Allenton/I-44
-gas station at Wildhorse Creek/Eatherton (at the top of "Doberman Hill")
-gas station at 109/Hwy 100 - this isn't exactly ON the route, but it's fairly close by.
-Thrasher? Got any more cake chunks? Bueller?


Deets Me, Brah:

Where: Ralph's Place - they close at 3 on Sundays, so don't expect to get food there after the ride.
Where to: almost the same as last year, Route. Keep in mind that the route isn't marked at all.
When: Same day as Froze Toes! Feb 27th, 9AM - that means CLICKING IN AT 9, so fucking get there early.
Pace: Cheesy does it. Hammer if you want to, but almost all the cars were gone by the time the group that I was in finished.


The route, typed out for you to print:

-Start at Lone Wolf Coffee
-Head west on Clayton,
-Left on Thunderhead Canyon Dr.
-Left on Westglen Farms Dr.
-Right on "Village Plaza View Dr," toward the stripmall
-enter bike path opposite the parking lot
-left across black pedestrian bridge, crossing Hwy 100
-left after bridge
-right onto Old Manchester (across from the Jack in the Box)
-left onto Woods Rd. Descend and turn left up Bartizan, come back down, and continue down Woods.
-left onto bike path and ride south along Hwy 109.
-left up Old State for about .1 mile
-left onto Redtail Hawk Dr
-Then turn/veer left onto Johns Cabin Rd, which is a clockwise loop (Mitch's secret training loop) and will bring you back to Old State. (BUT not before making a quick left up and back down Starwood Rd!)
-Cross 109 at Old State, turn right up Alt Rd.
-Left on Forby.
-Right onN. Central Ave
-Cross over Hwy 44, turn right onto West Main St (in between train tracks.)
-left onto Wengler and start Allenton Loop, going CCW.
-Exit Allenton Loop to the left, go underneath Hwy 44, and climb Allenton Rd.
- right onto Scenic Loop Rd, going opposite direction.
-right, continuing on Allenton Rd.
-left onto Melrose
-right onto Hwy 100
-right onto Woodland Meadows Dr.
-right onto Old Manchester
-right onto Glencoe (through Rockwoods.)
-Go straight up Melrose
-Turn right (again) onto Hwy 100, cross over and turn left and continue on Melrose all the way until it descends to Hwy T.
-Left on T
-Left on Bassett
-Left onto Cremin's Green, out-and-back. Continue up Bassett.
-Left onto Old Manchester
-left onto Bouquet.
-Left onto Ossenfort, cross T, and continue on Ossenfort.
-Right turn onto Hardt Road (at the bottom of Ossenfort Hill)
-Left turn up Dehardt Farms Rd at stopsign - go to end and turn back around in cul-de-sac.
-right back onto Hardt Rd, returning to Ossenfort.
-right back onto Ossenfort
-Continue straight onto Wild Horse Creek
-turn left up Babler Forest as an out-and-back.
-Come back down, and turn right onto Wild Horse Creek, climbing to Rieger.
-Turn left onto Rieger
-Right on Pond.
-left on Smith School Rd.
-Left on BA.
-left into Babler State Park. Once in Babler, turn right onto John Cochran Dr (CCW loop), turn right up Theodore Wirth Drive, and left down Guy Park Dr (past the pool). Turn right back up John Cochran Dr, climb up the first hill, and turn left at the bottom of the other side (also John Cochran Dr (be careful on the gravel!) and duck under gate to exit Babler State Park.
-Immediately turn right up Wild Horse Creek Drive (Doberman.)
-Turn right onto Old Eatherton.
-Left onto Orville.
-Right up Shephard.
-Left onto bike path alongisde 109
-Left onto Clayton back to Lone Wolf Coffee.

*a mercy option to take Shephard to Streucker to Kehrs Mill back to Lone Wolf is in effect, thus shortening the ride by several miles.
*Please take note of where to exit Babler State Park - it is not well marked, and easy to miss. It is at the bottom of the second climb, when you will pass by it at first, and then loop back around to it. It is not very well paved, and you will have to go underneath a metal gate.
*UPDATE* the addition of going to DeHart Farms might be out because of bridge that is out, in which case we'll just continue down Ossenfort.

Nico Toscani posted a Garmin link from the ride last year, seen here. Note that it does not include Cremin's Green or Babler Forest.


Simpsons Trivia Time:

What video game is this for, and what does Santa say here?

That's all for now,
-Casey F. Ryback, Regular Guy

MFXC2011 Registration Opens NOW

Registration for the 2011 MFXC opens TODAY!

The 2011 edition of the Middlefork XC race will take place sometime in May, and it is only open to the first 75 to register. Register you say, but I thought Non Races are free?! They are, but this one is special so in order to get all the info(The Where, When, Why, and the WHAT!) You must mail me postcard containing your info, and if you are one of the lucky 75 you will receive all the race info in your mail shortly after. This race has only 3 cats. Men Open, Women Open, and SS Open. It will be 30-40mi mix of single track and country road. It will be one large loop, and expect finishing times to be roughly in the 3-5hr range. Registration closes Monday, March 28 2011. All postcards postmarked after March 28 will not be accepted.

MFXC2010 Blog Recap

Send your non race entry to...

Mason Storm
5912 Southwest Ave.
St. Louis MO 63139

Postcards must contain this info.

NAME
CAT(M,F,or SS)
EMAIL ADDRESS
T SHIRT SIZE
HOME RETURN ADDRESS

2010 Men Open/Overall Winner Matt James 3:24:08
2010 Single Speed Open Winner Dan Fuhrman 3:24:50
2010 Women Open Winner Karen Holtman 4:44:46

Another CXmas Miracle! (warning - pic heavy!)

Greetings you Jerky-Ass Jerks! I wish I had another artfully-crafted, Christmas-themed literary truth bomb to drop onto your minds, though I believe there aren't any more worthy pieces for me to butcher when recounting this year's final Non-Race, CXmas.

That being said, let us look back, and reflect upon just what happened. As many of you know, this Non-Race was much more... on the "DL." And not the kind of DL that Ice-T talks about. But rather, the kind of DL that might keep us off those radars from last year. Contacting Lord Gino, Overseer of All Things CXmas-related, put you on a fairly exclusive list. A list that brought people from all over the Bi-State region.

We've been racking our brains this last year trying to figure out a new and fresh "location" for this Non-Race, and Gino, in all of his CXmas madness, birthed a new monster that would be sure to elevate the pain and suffering to a whole new level. All reports were that this year's course was as hard as Criss Angel while attempting to "dock" with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger. Between the Stairway to Heaven, the gravel descent into hell, the egg nog/PBR/push-up dispensary, the Katy spray, the singletrack, and the ridiculous gifts, you wouldn't be able to keep the holiday cheer from being rammed down your throat-hole. And the entire route promised to not interfere with or ruffle the feathers of the powers that be.

Upon checking in with Gino, and handing over some canned goods,:

...you were issued your spoke card and greeted with a face-full of lovingly hand-wrapped gifts:

I and my good partner in crime had the joy of loading up the trunk with nog and PBR before watching the start and heading out to our checkpoint. But of course, a little taste-test was in order, to make sure that the temperature was just right - same idea as when you test a bottle of milk on your wrist for the baby. A truly beautiful sight:

Another beautiful sight, Masson in PBR-Pajamas: I personally tried to meet with many people who travel a great distance to be with us that day. I was greeted with a representative (patriarch?) of Team Red Wheel, who ceremoniously presented Team Seagal with the gift of Chimay, beautifully wrapped. I then proceeded to put that shit into my stomach.

Some people would be approaching this ride as an excuse to drink nog and be merry with lots of friends after a year's worth of intense racing and training, while still others were looking to be fucking serious, and take no prisoners. For example, profanity-laden-registration-email-author Mr. Piepert was using every advantage at his disposal - aero helmet, aero bars, tubular wheels, intimidating jersey with lightning on it, and to top it all off, he was sober. (Though it is up for debate whether or not this is an advantage for him.) I met with him pre ride as he was limbering up:
He divulged to me some of his go-fast secrets, the most intriguing of which was keeping his saddle heavily lubricated with Astroglide so that he could easily move around on the saddle as he changed positions from upright-to-aero-bars-to-standing-to-dismounting-to-remounting. Truly cutting edge stuff.

I next found BJ, from Team Momentum, preparing for his attempt at CXmas glory. He had brought the Momentum soigneur along for assitance:

All the pre-non-race prep had everyone ready to go, poised to hear the inspirational, Lombardi-esque pre-non-race words from "Digiorn-bro." Nick had his trailer full of goodies, while Borb Jorkins looked on wistfully and full of determination (which was in stark contrast to his nametag photo):

Sadly, we were missing many people who for one reason or another, were unable to join us. Not the least of which was our New East Coast Syndicate, otherwise known as C-Dubs, who, as a result of debilitating hip-pain, stayed in New York and using the time to "translate the Lost Scrolls of the Ming Dynasty."

Gino did then speak, and he spake of glory whilst pointing eastward:
Lining up for the le Mans-style start, the tension was palpable. Mr. Pieport was sent off the front, unknowlingly chasing Jason Pryor who was amazingly already off the front:
He was of course closely followed by the stampede, or the man-pede, with the Tropical Storm and Co. leading the way:

That was the cue for Mr. Farinella, PBR-Dave and I to man-train over to the nog station. On that short journey, we did see our CXmas-ers choo-chooing down the path, on their way to "The Vomitory:"

We arrived at the Vomitory, ready to "induce." The cups were lined on the table with care, with hopes that CXmas-ers sooner would be there:
One by one, the cups holding that nectar of the gods (the god being Energor) were emptied, though some elected to do push-ups instead (ever see someone doing pushups in a TT helmet?):


After sucking down that delicious nog, they would carry their bikes up the 210+ stairs: Whether they put down some PBR, egg nog from Aldi, or threw down push-ups, they all came through secreting CXmas spirit from every orifice. However, there was one group that was in no hurry to leave that checkpoint. That is, until some unfinished business was resolved.

But first, a little background.

Last year, there was certainly some one-upman-ship happening (with an emphasis on the man.) 2 cups, 3 cups, 4 cups, and before long, 5 cups were downed. But when Mr. Jenkins came along, and having learned of the bar to be reached, didn't just beat that record, but literally mouth-raped the record by putting 15 cups of nog down his throat. This lit a fire in his teammate Nick's belly; for this year, upon reaching the Vomitory, you could tell that they had been both planning on settling in for the long haul, savoring every thick, creamy, nutmeg-infused cup, regardless of the daily recommended value of elf-cum or pubes. Sitting back, they discussed the finer points of egg nog, and the consumption of. Here we have a rare photo of the two of our heroes holding only one cup each:
It didn't take long before the flow of nog started to slow down, as they pondered the distanced they still had to go:
We all thought the "contest" had been decided once Bob vomited after the 14th cup, and Nick pulled the nog-plug at 11. However, it was then that a dark horse candidate came forward - Adam, somewhat new to this arena. Having realized that this nog had no booze, he stepped into the ring. He stood there, confidently draining cartons of nog: Cool and calculated, he clawed his way to the top, setting a new record of 18 cups! Though, depending how you enforce the rules, his crown may be up for debate:

(Thanks Dana for sending me that vid!!!)

Congratulations to Adam, Nick, and Bob, and the rest of their crew, for somehow managing to get all of their bikes and trailers to the top of those stairs, patiently taking the time to effectively block off the right side of the stairs with several puddles of regurgitated/pre-ingested nog.

After leaving the nog station, our victims, er, non-racers circled the top loop of Creve Coeur Lake Park, (unfortunately having to avoid the sloppy singletrack) where they would make their way down the treacherous gravel hill, circle their way back across the river, and take the Katy out to some twisty singletrack goodness which is almost perfectly constructed for a CX bike assault! On the final return stretch, our non-racors were presented with a gift to bring back to the start line:




Truly ridiculous!

And there was much debauchery and merriment to be had there as well, spread on thick by Taggort, Jerkward, Lawman, and PBR-Dave:

Unfortunately, a few of our buddies had some troubles navigating their way to the finish line as quickly as they would have hoped. Both Tyler and Devin found themselves doing a little extra mileage. Devin has vowed some serious orienteering training regimens for next year. Whatever trials and tribulations people may have had though, that didn't stop others from completing the ultimate task in most glorious fashion:














The festive atmoshere almost had me forget that I got my sweet Sebring convertible stuck out in that field because I forgot it didn't have Posi:


2010 CXmas Non-Podium:
1st Place

(you should see the INSIDE of that suit!)

2nd Place

3rd Place, after finding a second use for his aerobars

1st Woman

1st Singlespeed


Yes, there was still more egg nog to be had, though this time it was much more refined, and distilled of the bullshit:

"This bottle is a lot easier to hold than some gayz0rz oversized present..."

Tom Albert, a little delirious from severe chaffing of the ass after having "soiled" the race-course, tried unsuccessfully to ride through the gifts, but WAS successful in being moar awesome: The Hayes' and Matthews' tandem class:



All of this Christmas cheer left Santa pretty dirty - Before:
After:

We're always glad when some honorable dignitaries of DRJ come to show us the best of what DRJ has to offer at this time of year: "This is my wiping finger when taking shits in the woods."
The only thing you win from CXmas is bragging rights, and/or a headache the next day. Perhaps next year though, we'll take a page from the Singlespeed World Championship textbook and offer a sweet tattoo to the winner. Though instead of a badass bike-related design, it'll be winner's choice from one of these tattoos: Link

So with all of that behind us now, I'll take a line from the Golden Girls' theme song, and I, on behalf of all of Team Seagal, would like to say to all of our fellow Non-Racers, "Thank you for being a friend."

Merry CXmas!

-Casey F. Ryback, the Ghost of CXmas Past, Present and Future

CFR's uncropped photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/teamseagal/CXMAS2010#
Lawman's album: http://picasaweb.google.com/Davis437/CXMAS2010#