After thorough inspection our wrist bones have been bent, not snapped.

Greetings good friends. Your old pal, field correspondent Nico Toscani, is here to brief you on our most recent trip to the battlefield, The 2011 Bone Bendor 3/6, An Odyssey in MTB Paradise. Details surrounding this event which occured in Lawrence, KS on April 17, 2011 have been officially de-classified. It is now safe to divulge to you the many truths that took place on that very day.

First off, the trails at Clinton Lake State Park are so badd-ass that Your Author would give them a rating of at least "9" on the Clydesdale Scale. Basically, trail users are dealing with multiple sections of screaming, super-buff singletrack connecting steep goat hills and huge gardens of rock [sometimes containing a tricky switch-back]. Very fun stuff, almost all of it rideable.

Second, it is safe to tell you that your authors' *new* war-wagon is equally badd-ass and would also receive a "9" on said scale. Take a look for yourself, the car is amazing. It has a very spacious roof, there's room for at least 3 SS mountain bikes:

The war wagon is pretty cool but the passengers it carried from St. Louis to Lawrence are even cooler than cool, aka "Ice cold." The guest list in the fancy-ass car during the journey to Clinton Lake included new Team Seagal recruit PFC Orin Boyd, Team Free Awesome's very own Peat "The Beet" Henry, and Your Author. We arrived the evening before the race and set-up camp with a merry group that included some of Columbia, MO's, finest Jerks: Professor Robert Burns and his beautiful wife, Green Beans, race promotion guru Andy Schuette, and noted beard doper Joshua Carroll. Food and drink were shared beside the campfire and the full moon brightly illuminated the path to the woods when one had to squirt (go number one). Before long, the effects of the 300 mile journey from St. Louis became enough to coax us away from the fire and into our tents for the evening.

Waking at the race course on race day pre-registered and ready to crush souls is awesome! The Bone Bendor Promotions Crew needs to be recognized for their superior organization skills because this event went smooooth. Let's take a look at some of the action that took place throughout the day at Clinton Lake State Park as documented the official BBv3 historian Chris Dean:

Orin Boyd...being chased by Brian "The Gun Show" Busken:

Your Author:

Professor Robert Burns:

Senor J. Carroll...powder blue Indy Fab!
OMG Andy Scheutte has one very nice steel Kona 29er

nice fella Christopher j. Ploch:

6hr Solo Crushor Jon Schottler, the fastest fella in the state:


Finally, 6hr SS Solo 2nd place finisher and passenger in Nico's new Car: Peat "The Beet" Henry:




Oh yes it's true, much fun and excellent course conditions were shared by all. Let it be shown that Peat, Your Author, and PFC Orin Boyd each earned top 5 positions in the prestigious 6hr SS Solo class - this is partly to fairly awesome in my new car's opinion. Ewww Weee, we caint wait to have our bones bent again next year. Thanks for stopping by, Nico Toscani signing out. Jerks!

Flac OFF!

This just in Team Seagal Loyalist,

Today marks a very special day in Team Seagal history. Mason Storm here to tell you of our most recent sponsor for the 2011/12 season Flaco's Cocina! Not only do we LOVE Flaco's, but also as of just a few weeks ago a certain JERK now works there as the am PT Chef! Next time after a ride, or you just want a bite and a cold PBR, stop on by Flaco's Cocina and tell them Team Seagal sent ya!

Best Fish Tacos in Town!

Storm

MFXC Final Roster

1) Nico Toscani SS
2) Steve Friedman SS
3) Peat Henry SS
4) Cock Puncher SS
5) Lisa Troehler F
6) Craig Thrasher SS
7) Rob Ballou M
8) Marc Engelhardt M
9) Jason Pryor M
10) Scott Peipert M
11) Todd Davenport SS
12) Joshua Stockwell SS
13) Randy Anderson SS
14aka69) Chris Wurster SS
15) Jeff Yielding M
16) Team Breslin SS
17) Karl Kimbel SS
18) Barry Volmer SS
19) Nick Smith SS
20) Sasha Petrosevich F
21) Dan Bruns SS
22) Matt Hayes SS
23) Bob Jenkins M
24) Sarah Worthington F
25) Christopher Connolly M
26) Giovanni Fondolinni M
27) Bryan Adams SS
28) Chris Davis SS
29) BEN MOTHERFUCKIN G M
30) Jason Zoll SS
31) Tom Lauria M
32) Craig Seibert M
33) Matt Stacey M
34) Stephen Venters SS
35) Dan Dougan M
36) Gabrielle Renner F
37) John Lake M
38) Tom Marsh M
39) Al Ebert M
40) Mike Barro SS
41) Joshua Clark M
42) Josh Picker M
43) Jon Donjoian SS
44) David Smith M
45) Chris Smentkowsky M
46) Brad Wadlow M
47) Larry Koester SS
48) Scott Nelson SS
49) Trail Bling SS
50) Matt James M
51) Mary Piper F
52) Matthew Ochs SS
53) Todd Holtman M
54) Karen Holtman F
55) Keaton Haire SS
56) John Jones SS
57) Chris McRae M
58) Caleb Hulsey M
59) Travis Hammons M
60) Jes Prenger F...U owe me .78 for s/h!
61) Ric Wolkawitz M...So do U! Hilarious.
62) Rock Wamsley M
63) TAGGART SS
64) Brian Busken M
65) Pete Goode SS
66) Jacob Rohted M
67) T Tocs SS
68) Ben Banet M
69) Sara Swank F
70) Marc Pauly SS
71) James Cocayne SS
72) Corey Case M

See you all Soon, very soon!

Storm

From Team Seagal Human Resources Dept.

Greetings, Team Seagal tifosi. From time to time we come across people that we feel would... "enhance" and give legitimacy to our cheering power on the sidelines of races. I think that this is one person that we should actively seek out, for his dedication and intensity would be no doubt be a shining beacon of light in the dark times of the CX season. These photos were taken from the Tour of Flanders.

Exhibit A, from Pezcyclingnews:


Exhibit B, taken this year:
That dude is a fucking badass.

He will make sure that our team will be moar awesorme, and less gay. On the other hand, if we had one of these "contraptions," we would be *more* gay. Like Criss-Angel-managing-a-sausage-factory gay:

Yes, go to www.rowbike.com for more.

More stuff to come.

-Casey F. Ryback