A few more pictures for you soul

Here is everyone finishing up:









Robert, looking like he's about to go into an epileptic shock:

Chubb Time Trial (unofficial) Results

In the words of Borat, "Great Success!" But you're probably thinking, "Pssh. A time grassroots mountain bike time trial ain't nothin'; I could do that, you idiot!" Oh yeah? Well how many (former) pros would show up to yours? Probably none, unlike ours, which had a certain Mr. Dan Schmatz. He came by to show us how to pedal really fast. He and 5 other people came out to bask in the pain, and lay down some super fast times:

1) Chris Ploch - 1hr 9min 30s (singlespeed)
2) Dan Schmatz - 1hr 10min 52s
3) Mike Flannigan - 1hr 12min 1s
4) Marshall Lawson (Robert Metz) - 1hr 15min 7s
5) Nico Toscani (Eddie Klein) - 1hr 19min 14s (singlespeed)
6) Emily Duchow - 1hr 19min 39s

All sub 1hr 20 minutes! And that's including a long wait for a train, and a fair number of upset equestrians. (upset equestrians? Sounds a little redundant to me...) Aside from the immense amount of horses and even more horse SHIT, the conditions could NOT have been more perfect today. Very few hikers, absolutely perfect weather, and plenty of very cool people. Seriously though, we've never seen this much horse shit at Chubb before, and now it's all over our tires, downtubes, forks, legs, etc... Thanks a lot. There are reports from those participating that there were a number of spectators perched at the staircase, one of whom apparently had a video camera? We'd be most interested in viewing that footage if it is out there...

Mike at the start:


Marshall, poised:


Chris, not sure about what he's about to do:


Emily has the eye of the tiger:


Nico sez "I get to ride my bike!"


Dan starting his 5th ride since the Tour of Missouri:


Chris and Mike finishing up (respectively):





Maxin' and relaxin' after the TT:




After all of the people who came out and raced (a.k.a. "not weak-sauce") were finished, we decided that a little group ride would be in order. The group ride was more populated than the race, it turns out. Myself (Casey Ryback), Mason Storm, Lt. Col. Austin Travis, Jack Taggert, Marshall Lawson, Nico Toscani, Gino Felino, Dr. Wesley McLaren, and Mr. Dan Schmatz all headed out for a much more chilled pace of Chubb. (Like 2.5 times more chilled, based on our ride time.) We took a bunch of pictures, and tried and re-tried the all the usual technical spots. Jack Taggert was unfortunately taken out of commission before reaching the picnic bench though due to a twisted chain link that consistently caused dropped chains. Fear not though, we pressed on, and continued our wrist-snapping campaign all the way to the end and back. Check it:














The next two involve Mason's attempt to ride up the Colonel's backside:




Big thanks to everyone who helped keep all the "Chubb n00bs" on track by directing them in the right direction, and to Ashley for taking a bunch of the pictures! Thanks to Dan who came out and road with us for a few hours! Next event we have, we hope to have participants numbering in the tens of thousands. Only you can help make that happen!

Chubb Reconnaissance - thumbs up!

Yes yes yes, we know what yer' thinkin'. What's the story with the trail?!?!!!111!!111!!!11oneoneeleven0n3

Well, we have good news of our lives for you! Wednesday, myself (Casey Ryback), Gino Felino, and Mason Storm ventured out to the Chubb trail in order to theorize, hypothesize, and jazzercize about the time trial on Sunday. We also happened to run into Lt. Colonel Austin Travis who was already on the trail. Unfortunately for him, he was taken out of commission nearly as quickly as he was in Executive Decision! This time, however, it was simply a hub that wouldn't stay tight - not a failed airlock connecting a stealth fighter to an jumbo jet.

Our assessment: the trail is in (relatively) great shape. That is, relative to the trail as it has been this summer. Of course it is as loose as the "veteran corner talent" in all the normal spots, but as long as it isn't raining on Sunday it should be a prime example of autumn riding in Missouri. The colors are really coming around - just take a look:




I wish I had a camera better suited to movement:



We even did a little trail work. This log has lain in the middle of the river-flat rock garden for a month or two. It is just a little too high to clear without risking a bent chainring:


Well, we don't have the ability to lug a chainsaw all the way to the log. So we made it a usable obstacle by shoring up each side. This is what mountain biking is all about - clearing an obstacle, not just riding around it. From both directions:



A lot of people probably wonder how we manage to ride like champions. I'll let you in on a Team Seagal secret to our superiority: Mini-Steven guiding us!


Here's your ticket - print them off and give them to your friends:



SEE YOU THERE - OCT 28 - 10AM - RIDE YOUR BIKE FAST

Don't Forget about the Chubb Time Trial!

Greetings, Loyal Team Seagal Fan. If I were to ask you what colossal event is taking place on October 28th and you answered "Why the glorious Chubb Time Trial, Mr. Ryback!" Then you would be absolutely correct.

This doesn't cost you any money aside from the gas that it takes to drive to the trailhead. This is one of many reasons why you should tell all of your mountain biking friends. Other reasons include: riding your bike, riding your bike with others in a social manner, not being though of as weak sauce.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE: We will not be closing the trail, so you will most likely encounter other riders/hikers/birdwatchers/lovers. Proceed with caution and with courtesy - keep in mind that if you encounter them, so will everyone else, and therefore no one has an advantage. Don't make us (us = all mountain bikers) look bad.

Be there by 9:30AM, as we'll stop taking names at 9:50 in order to have the first racer leave by 10AM.

Refer to our previous post regarding the course. Be advised: the West Tyson loop will be done COUNTER-CLOCKWISE! There will be a supreme Team Seagal representative at the picnic table handing out spoke cards, so be sure to not just BLAZE though.

We want you to attack the trail like the Ultimate Warrior attacks the ropes!


TEAR SHIT UP!

These apples wouldn't fit in my pocket!

Greetings loyal Team Seagal Fan. Today I just wanted to share with you my joy at finding the largest apples of ALL TIME. Take a look at these things! Dierbergs has these huge honey crisp apples right now - these four apples weighed in at an elephantine 4.5 lbs! That's over a pound an apple! Not only would they not fit in my pocket, but they won't fit in my mouth, I'm sure. I don't know how I'll eat them.

On the far left, I have a golden delicious apple from Eckert's that I picked this year. To the right, I have a normal honey crisp from Dierbergs from last week, which, in and of itself is a large and very satisfying apple. The four apples on the right are, far and away, MUCH larger. They blow all other apples out of the water, and while they are exiting the water, their wrists will be in the process of being snapped by the new mutant honey crisps. Note the bottles in the background for scale.


Thank god for genetic engineering!

This Past Weekend

I must say this has been another badass weekend for Team Seagal with Nico taking home first in single speed at Spanish Lake on saturday in outstanding wrist-snapping style. He was joined on the podium by Brad (have you chosen your name yet?) in third and Dr McClaren in fifth. The competion might as well have been riding this or this.

I personally had a truly epic sunday with a ride of the entire Middlefork section out and back followed by another mind blowing meal at Dos Primos. Too bad no other team members could be there as I forgot to ask around, but we need to make an epic team ozark trail ride sometime.

Also, I finally got around to getting my burning pics off of my camera. Alas, there was only one but it is of Casey Ryback triumphantly rounding the final switchback after a Team Seagal domination of Council Bluff.

-Gino

Quick thing to mention about Spanish Lake

To all of the competitors we'll be seeing (click on the photo):



In the meantime, watch this amazing video:

Spanish Lake

Here is a shot of yours truly on my way to a 3rd place in the 19-29 Beg cat circa 2002 @ Spanish Lake. This weekend will be the last NORBA race for Team Seagal and it looks like Edd(NICO) Klein could seal up 2nd place overall in the SS cat. We will be sending 2....maybe 3 riders down for the race. More to come from the past weekends Burnin.
Late,
M Storm.

Burnin' up at Burnin'

OMG. Unless you were there, you can't imagine the fine line that existed for 12 hours on Saturday, which separated pain from euphoria. Snapped wrist from melted face. Legitimate win from course-cutting shame.

Your favorite local singlespeed-specific mountain biking team, Team Seagal, sent three entries to this, the most glorious of local 12 Hour races: Burnin' at the Bluff! Shop Minister, Mason Storm, and yours truly Casey Ryback made up Team Seagal 1. Nico Toscani, Dr. Wesley McLaren, and (taking part in his first 12 hour race) Lt. Jack Taggert filled out Team Seagal Dos Primos. And finally but certainly not fatally: Gino Felino in the Solo Class, also known as the "Class for the Mentally Unstable." Seriously, riding non-stop for 12 hours by yourself can only be classified as something that only the supremely unstable, or supremely BADASS, would undertake. Holy shit.

We also made sure to take inventory of our campsite's gravel at arrival and departure - we were actually 3 rocks short at our departure, despite Crazy Jim never stopping by.

The weather could not have been more phenomenal, and neither could the competition. Big thanks to ICCC for providing tons of food (who DIDN'T eat tons of spaghetti?!), and big thanks to Mesa Cycles for hosting a badass race. Congrats to Chris, Bob, and Wes for showing everyone how to go faster than everyone else. It's not surprising they accomplished this feat when they are big-ringin' the last fucking hill: (picture courtesy of DRJ Racing)


Take note of where the chain lines up:

Anyway, Team Seagal had a stupid-awesome time meeting new people, and having more fun times with those that are already our friends - if you want to know more, just ask all of us.

The good Doctor was in rare (translation: amazing) form for this weekend:


Ever wonder how to deal with powdered drink mix that has been slightly moisturized? Mason demonstrates proper technique:


There's a story behind this sign found at the DRJ camp:


Mason rounds the first switchback, shooting lasers from his eyes in the process:


Gino at the beginning of his 12 Hour ride on the Pain Train:


Dwayne at the beginning of his 12 Hour ride on the Pain Train to the podium:


Here's the post-race payoff (that's Gino's foot on the right):


Here's the two teams post ride. Gino is mysteriously absent from this picture; we think he was busy slaying the souls of the un-dead, and attempting to grow a pony tail which he can use to kill Jamaican drug cartels:


Nico is taking a hint from Gino's Book of Bike Decals:



Want to know how to eat a brat? Casey shows you how to eat a fucking brat - double-decker, with the top brat having fallen on the ground, without having been cleaned off:


The next morning, we capped off the race weekend with the requisite stop at the one and only:


Finally, on the way home, we managed to snap a picture of the elusive "porn shack" that stands just a few miles outside of Potosi. The sign on the right side informs you that there are, in fact, adult videos for sale inside. Inside this shack, there is only enough room for you, and your boner:


I'm sure that there is much more to come. Stay tuned for time trial info, Spanish Lake info, and Burnin' results.

C. Ryback